I am in pain
Yes I am
No need to talk about it
Cause it’s not something good to either talk or say about
But then this phrase
Sharing is caring
, Sharing doesn’t always have to be the one caring
Sometimes when problems are too hard and menacing its fine to keep it to yourself and not share
Not with family friends like trees to the leaves
Cause they know it’s of no use
Some problems are excruciating cause they simply can’t be solved and it’s extreme grave pain to try to solve that problem cause there are times that the solutions is there but you know that it’s not the right choice to deal with the damn pain, you choose to be depressed
Going through alot or more likely pushing yourself alot ,
Crying in the corners most often and numerous sleepless night
And you still hold it back
You choose to be quit cause that’s the way you won’t have to go through severe headaches ,
Anxiety and alot more.
You know that nothing is alive inside you , you know you Have been through so much so much that after a moment of cry there will be a smile a brilliant smile on your face which won’t let others know that you are dead from inside , you don’t know how to remove it it comes on your face naturally that you wouldn’t know that you weren’t ready to keep yourself alive and living
And you know ,that there’s nothing can’t be done so just go with this fake smile cause who cares how are you feeling ,? literally every each one who says that they care for you , most of them don’t they have their own life their own problems you can share your problems with other sometimes but if your problem can’t be solv and you know that it’s depressing then you now that sharing it talking about it will make you toxic , at this point you feel yurself safer when you are alone this. Is a point that you feel that it’s hard to speak even of that’s your beloved mother brother family or your bestie
You immediately will forget how to talk even if the words comes out it wouldn’t be anything then slutry or stammering . So whenever I don’t talk or didn’t make any eye contact it means that I want to be alone and I don’t hate you nor I have any intention to hurt you it’s just that I am not comfortable with anyone’s presence
Living alone is beautiful safe peaceful as if living in antartica seems dreadful but it’s peaceful