A piece of bread

In a busy of streets of England

I was running holding a bread only in my one hand , .

Only with one hand it’s hard to survive

I was beaten bby the thick wooden stick on my back I was grudging that bread cause it was my life

In that street where no one sympathise me nor thought of helping me ,they were smiling as if I was apart of circus
We have no right to decide our name these people already gave. Us a name of gutter rat ,that …. That name is nothing to think a small thing

That single thing made me Robb that bread to run around the streets for food nothing matters cause the starvation was worse then death

As a child I have a dream of once having. A family and to enjoy a proper meal with them .

It’s my dream ….

Which never ever is fulfilled

My sparkling innocent eyes save from the fire and blazing house I was thrown in streets ,

I look as a cats and dogs kept in a box

In the middle of rainy streets
But worser there are people who like to take .

I thought , once I met a generous man who gave me a meal for which I don’t have to Robb or suffer but instead he took my hand .

From that day , I realised this people living in glamorous have nothing to give for no reason there’s always some of their own need behind those help .

Alone

I am in pain
Yes I am
No need to talk about it
Cause it’s not something good to either talk or say about
But then this phrase
Sharing is caring
, Sharing doesn’t always have to be the one caring
Sometimes when problems are too hard and menacing its fine to keep it to yourself and not share
Not with family friends like trees to the leaves
Cause they know it’s of no use
Some problems are excruciating cause they simply can’t be solved and it’s extreme grave pain to try to solve that problem cause there are times that the solutions is there but you know that it’s not the right choice to deal with the damn pain, you choose to be depressed
Going through alot or more likely pushing yourself alot ,
Crying in the corners most often and numerous sleepless night
And you still hold it back
You choose to be quit cause that’s the way you won’t have to go through severe headaches ,
Anxiety and alot more.
You know that nothing is alive inside you , you know you Have been through so much so much that after a moment of cry there will be a smile a brilliant smile on your face which won’t let others know that you are dead from inside , you don’t know how to remove it it comes on your face naturally that you wouldn’t know that you weren’t ready to keep yourself alive and living
And you know ,that there’s nothing can’t be done so just go with this fake smile cause who cares how are you feeling ,? literally every each one who says that they care for you , most of them don’t they have their own life their own problems you can share your problems with other sometimes but if your problem can’t be solv and you know that it’s depressing then you now that sharing it talking about it will make you toxic , at this point you feel yurself safer when you are alone this. Is a point that you feel that it’s hard to speak even of that’s your beloved mother brother family or your bestie
You immediately will forget how to talk even if the words comes out it wouldn’t be anything then slutry or stammering . So whenever I don’t talk or didn’t make any eye contact it means that I want to be alone and I don’t hate you nor I have any intention to hurt you it’s just that I am not comfortable with anyone’s presence
Living alone is beautiful safe peaceful as if living in antartica seems dreadful but it’s peaceful

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The heart died

In the mist in those foggy ocean in those silence
In the darkest sky where the stars were hidden
Where the failures were laughing the pain was enjoying
The afraid heart , crawling wailing and hitting ever corners of the walls which were Made by the soul hid the broken pieces of it inside.

In the walls it shed tears until it loses

It’s pride and courage

The depth of the sea throw the heart in shore

The soft innocent heart terribly broke and died at the coast

And the owner of the heart fal asleep in the depth of the ocean where the light of the sun cannot be reached

And slowly slowly with the steady breathings

The heart died

No one win
The soul the girl the heart came to a miserable end

Grave in her heart

The heart was burning

But

The soul never let those fire get to others
The eyes were flooding in tears but no one ever drown in that sadness
And sorrow
The hands were shivering

Mind was loss

It’s still loss,

No one cares to look for it

No one cares to hold it but
Walk on those feelings
And petrify the soul
It’s vulnerable

Yet holds alot inside
That the depth of the sea
Is nothing compared to pain buried
In the soul

The dieing heart

In the oldest banyan trees with the roots and branches reaching the soil itself
Lies a sweet innocent heart
In which lives lifes.of.millions

Life of every animals in Africa
Depends on that heart
Life’s of every bird in the whole world

Depends on that heart

But now that heart is dieing and slowly the world too
Birds and pigeons are dieng day by day from thirst and hunger
Sparrows are countable

Only few are to be seen
Dogs are starving getting wild from the famish time

At this time it’s our responsibility

To save them
To feed the puppies to feed the stray to feed the birds
To feed the nature
To give back what we have taken by doing our bit

Hold on

I hold you ever since I started learning
I hold you from the point when  my eyes  holds the sparkles and lips sealed
I hold you from the point when I was young and because of it I never got a courage to speak
And to decide

In that young age
I found my dream
For others it’s normal
But at that very moment my whole world changed
could be
that from that very moment to now there could have been changes made just from the time when I found my dream.

At that time when I had not even a slightest idea of what grown up,adults responsibility, sacrifices, means
I unknowingly apply them without learning those words

My determination took over me

The thought of being close to your dream never
Ever let me sleep
The thought

The imagination of  speaking in English in a big auditorium in front of a knowledgeable people at that time was impossible

However I saw it turning into reality

And when my imagination became reality enthusiasm rush inside my blood

At that time I might have first time or maybe second time heard my internal voice

When I learnt my dream maybe it was my internal voice

But at that time when there were praises and claps I realise that all this was because of my internal voice who I never knew

Time flies by from the journey of a primary student
I have heard my teachers saying that

Time goes by

And awaits of no one

At that time i knew what it means even though I wasn’t familiar with that language still.i knew what that means
And uptil now it means to me

I.hold onto my dream earnestly but when I am so close
There’s nothing but ambiguity
When you are one step closer to your dream

You don’t know what is the thing which you haven’t done  that would help you to get Your dream .

It remind me the ludo game of snakes
Where you are just stuck on square of 99 and just need the number 1

To get to your goal

After traveling a long path being familiar with the grasses and leaves on the trees seeing the fruits ripening

And my path changing I can still see the thorns and memories, struggles

The treasure that journey has given me
That holding onto your dream is not important

Something more then that is ,I have often seen that a person, every person has to do something which he orr she never realise but that thing make them to reach their goal without being aware of it .

Please share your thoughts and views 🙂

Going on

It’s hard to continue fear not I truly I am familiar with it

But I won’t be your advisor nor someone who is superior
I am just your friend

Came here to.hear you
Your melody of tears
I will be patient
And hug you

Till there is the darkness
Even If you can’t see me with your eye
But you can feel me in your warm smile
In your breathing

And throbbings of your heart
In my last words
That

Pain is your bestest friend
Never forget
It will enrich you
Happiness is a delusion it’s a piece of cake
Seek beyond those small gifts of happiness
Reach where nothing is limited
Follow pain

Cause then only you’ll be granted with the success

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Please share your thoughts and warm ideas
Thanks for the time

Photography

I never thought the hobby of clicking pictures of whatever fascinates will some day help me to be positive and optimistic my life .

It’s not been too long since I started it but it’s great capturing the wonderful moments of the life and making a beautiful memories often it makes me really happy it lifts my mood sometimes when I am down this is how nature is makes you feel great at the first sight .

It’s nothing great I love capturing moon since it seems delightful always being in the dark And making that too beautiful with remarkable dwells twinkling beside it.

It teaches me how humble the moon is eventhough it shines so bright it never once pride .It always stays beside the stars brightening in the sky

The most wonderful thing which I like about the moon is that no matter how many crest scars it has nothing will look as beautiful as it looks on it.

Sometimes scars make things turned into a mess ,and some things turn that scars into their signature.